Dating Paul, a fate worse than a fate worse than death?

I didn't want to believe it when Coronation Street announced earlier in the year that a love triangle (of sorts) between Billy, Todd and Paul would be a major plot line for Billy this year. Perhaps it was just a joke taken seriously by mistake, because the last two years of story lining for Billy have been about nothing but Paul and Todd (and Summer), so it must have been a joke, right?

"So, what is Billy's 2023 looking like?"

"Oh .. lol, imagine if we put him at the centre of another story about Todd and Paul"

Room of journalists laugh nervously and make notes.

But, it's not a joke, the spoilers this week (and recent pap photos) have confirmed that it looks very likely Billy and Paul will become an item again very very soon (screams).

Yep, according to spoilers , Billy will be declaring that he still has feelings for Paul. Pardon? Would this be the same Billy who's not shown a single shred of feelings for Paul since their break up two years ago, that Billy? Is it too much to hope that when the spoilers say "he still has feelings" that these are feelings of irritation or rage rather than love?

This show is so lucky to have a character like Billy living in a (hideously decorated) flat on it's cobbled streets. The directions this character could be taken in, the storylines and varied types of characters he could have scenes with are endless. The fact that he is also played by a wonderfully talented actor means that whatever is thrown at this character would be in very comfortable hands.

I just wish that we would throw something different at him. The last four years have felt like Billy is stuck in ground hog day and to break that repetitive cycle the absolute last thing that should be happening to this character is getting back into a relationship with Paul.

So, I ask this question, would Billy being murdered by Stephen be a more favourable option for us all, including Billy, than getting back with Paul? Is dating Paul a fate worse than death?

Ok, obviously I'm being dramatic, I don't really want Billy to be murdered. It would be preferable that when Corrie do remember that this man is an archdeacon and give him something archdeaconry to fill his time with (praise be) that he is actually alive for it. Otherwise they'll have to do his scenes Weekend at Bernie's style. But a storyline that entangles him within Stephen's murdery mitts would be heaven, a much needed break from the repetitive cycle Billy is stuck in.

They should never have dated the one time let alone giving them another crack at it.

Paul isn't a favourite character of mine, granted, but this really isn't about that. A show needs all types of characters to keep it's wheels turning and different characters are going to be hits with different types of people. No, it's not about Billy being with a character I'm not really that bothered for, honestly if I felt they fitted together I would just keep quiet. But they don't fit ... it's not possible for Billy to have a relationship with a character that is not even the same species as him.

Let me take us back.

*wibbly wobbly fade into the past overlay*

Billy first arrived onto the street in 2014. Well actually, to be more precise, he arrived in a gay bar, looking confident, hot and as a "single ready to mingle". He of course immediately caught the eye of resident gay, Sean and they very soon sparked up a romance.

Whilst I wasn't that bothered by them as a pairing I could at least see why they would want to be together. It did make sense to me that these two characters would give a relationship together a chance. For a man of the cloth you'd expect Billy would want a partner he could be with long term, he would be picky, he would want to be with someone he saw himself being with "till death us do part" and that's exactly how Billy approached their relationship.

The most important thing for Billy was that being with someone was a commitment, he didn't sleep around and he didn't consummate his relationship with Sean for some time after they officially got together. I did believe that Billy felt Sean was "the one" otherwise, as was such an integral part of Billy's DNA, he absolutely wouldn't have taken their relationship to the next level.

As it turned out Sean wasn't the one (dabs a dry eye) and their love finally fizzled out mid July 2016.

But whilst his relationship was fizzling out with Sean his interest in Todd was growing slowly in the background. Boy, was it a glorious slow burn. This was a love triangle. You could feel why Billy would be torn between these two men. Todd, the unknown, the guy with the bad boy exterior but with an unbelievable kindness when you broke through his tough shell. Sean, the man he'd given 18 months of his life to. The man he knew but who so very often in the later stages of their relationship could not look past the fact that he was a vicar and almost always put himself first.

The show spent a good seven to eight months drip feeding Billy and Todd's blossoming friendship to relationship onto our tv screens and it worked. Oh boy ... Todd was "THE ONE" .

Billy's relationship with Todd the first time around ticked all the boxes. Authentic, very sexy and importantly the pairing respected each character's individuality, something which, towards the end, had been lacking in his relationship with Sean and was the catalyst to it's downfall. Todd and Billy fitted without either of them needing to change.

But even after having known Todd for two years already Billy still wanted to settle into their relationship before taking things to the bedroom. Just like he had with Sean.

As far as Billy was concerned, as passionate a man as he is, their love life, "his" love life was private. He was now with Todd, a very different kind of man to Sean, but the seriousness of how Billy took a relationship still remained. He still took his faith very seriously, he still made Todd wait and that was no one else's business but their own.

Now flash forward to Billy's relationships since 2019.

Billy met Paul early January 2019, and within four days of meeting Paul he was snogging him up against a wall in the street .. Four days! If that had been Billy's character from the start you wouldn't hear a peep out of me. But this wasn't the Billy we knew.

I remember at that time there were several articles stating that Billy and Paul were to "sex up the street". Billy is sexy that's for sure. But snogging a bloke he's just met whilst standing in a puddle of piss outside the kebab shop is not sexy. It didn't make sense to me why we would just throw five years of character building out the window for those 20 seconds. We were meant to see this coupling as the "vicar and the bad boy" but Paul isn't even particularly bad, he's just ... well, not very bright!

Fast forward further to 2021, with Billy and Paul having split a few months before, we watched as Billy spent a week agonising over who he should be with, Todd (Todd 2.0, as he is a very different character to what came before) or Paul. But not privately, not like when he was torn between Todd and Sean. No this was poles apart. Everything was so out in the open, Billy having altercation after altercation between the two of them out in the streets. This had to be purely for the" who will he choose" aspect as a viewer, but I'd just rather he'd said "fuck this shit" and chosen himself.

In the end he chose Todd and after half an hour of being together Billy was hopping into bed with him. Whilst Paul wheeled his suitcase outside in the street, glumly glancing up at Billy's bedroom window, just as Todd was closing the curtains. A sinister glare in his eye as he looked down over Paul that said "yep, I'm about to shag your Billy".

Why would Billy be interested in either of these men, why would they be interested in him? Just like with Paul the first time around no time was taken to explain to us why any feelings would exist. Billy was torn between the two of them just because and they both wanted to be with him just because.

And absolutely nothing has changed from that time, so why now in 2023, would Billy want to be with Paul? Apart from both of them being gay men? We don't try to put Carla and Kirk together just because Carla likes men and Kirk likes women or put Gemma with Peter. And this is what I liken Billy and Paul to. Opposites can attract , yes, but these two are from different galaxies.

What on Earth are we expected to believe Billy would see in Paul? Billy isn't about looks (not that I think he's ever declared he finds Paul attractive anyway) he is about the man, the persona. Paul is not bright and when he can't articulate his feelings he lashes out. He can't see further than the next five seconds or the ends of his fists. He walks around constantly looking to be provoked and when he does get provoked, he acts out and is immediately on the defence saying "it weren't my fault policeman officer, they upset me, it's not fair, everyone hates me". And we're to accept that Billy would choose that for himself?

Let's turn it around, why would Paul want to be with Billy? Yes, I imagine Paul is swayed considerably by how Billy looks but is that all it is for him? Billy uses such big words for Paul constantly, you can tell he doesn't understand and it must be exhausting for him mentally trying to keep up. And after the way Billy treated him in 2021 why would he even consider getting back with him.

The truth is, Billy has to to change a lot to fit into a life with Paul. He has to be dumb himself down. Let's not forget that Paul once called Billy's thesaurus a "word generator thing". Billy has to constantly make allowances for Paul , his personality and his uncontrollable temper.

If he has to be with someone romantically, if that is important to the show, why not give him a partner he can be himself with? Why not build a romance for Billy from scratch that makes sense. It feels like the main reasoning for Billy and Paul to be paired up, is for Paul to have someone. But why can't they both have relationships with different people, who are more suited for their personalities. Bring someone in that matches where Billy is at in life, rather than having him settle to where Paul is at.

At one point in their relationship Paul tried to do a drunken strip tease in front of the bishop (not that kind of bishop) and in the very next scene Billy was all "tut what are you like" roll eyes. Making allowances for what a shitty boyfriend he has who does not respect him or his vocation. Yes, probably a happy domestic life doesn't always make for great televisual viewing, but we can do better for Billy than this, we can!

These two would struggle to even be friends. Let's be honest. Throughout their entire relationship the first time around all I kept thinking was, what on Earth do they spend their evenings and weekends talking about. Can they even appreciate the same jokes. Does Paul make Billy laugh? And not a sympathy laugh, but a proper belly laugh. I bet Paul finds Mrs Browns Boys laugh out loud funny.

Why is pairing Billy up more important to the show than letting us see this man at work. In his church, in his community ,the people in his parish, I bet they all love him . Let us see this world of his, open it up to us I beg you. I would love to see Billy at the heart of the community, he really should be the glue to so many storylines.

At the very heart of why Billy was introduced to the show in the first place was following this vicar as he navigated the different obstacles that would test his faith and his relationships.

Now Billy's faith is barely mentioned unless it's needed for a particular issue. We need to bring Billy back to the bare basics of his character, because over the last few years through the different relationships he's had and the way he's allowed himself to be treated and disrespected it can feel like this character is a world away from the Billy that came into our lives in 2014. But I know he's still there and I know he has so many more interesting stories to tell, if we could just let him.

It's mostly thanks to the "billyisms" that Daniel Brocklebank adds to this character, the little extras and nuances that reminds us that this is still in fact Billy Mayhew we are watching.

He is a badass but so frequently during his relationship with Paul he was walked over and mocked. Only in certain looks Billy would throw Paul's way could we see the badass was still there , underneath, desperately trying to break through the words and actions of the body those eyes occupied.

I'm still a badass but I'm afraid that's just not the way I'm being written right now

I care about this character and I hope, through all the griping, that is what comes across. My absolute desperation for something different to happen to this man. I just want more for him than what we've had the last four years. Detach him from Paul and Todd, put him back into the community, have him interact with the wider characters of weatherfield.

Let us see him at church. Make him a single parent again, he absolutely doesn't need two assistant dads. Let's have fun moments with him and Summer. Please give him some friends or at least A friend. This is missing from Billy enormously. Someone he can turn to and talk his life out with, someone who isn't an ex or his god daughter.

And when the time is right to put him into a romantic relationship, build it slowly. Remember that this character takes his time, as it's important to Billy that they can accept the implications of being in a relationship with a vicar (Archdeacon).

I'm not suggesting that any future partner for Billy needs to be a saint, make it fiery as hell, but we the viewers need to understand why Billy would choose to be with that person. And in no universe do I see Billy choosing Paul. What am I missing that makes this make sense?

*and if you're thinking, "I'm not really sure I understand what a billyism is" please re-look at the photos of Billy included throughout this blog.

It's really not hard to love him, but it's so incredibly easy to be frustrated with his life choices.